Thursday, January 22, 2009


Last night was one of my hardest nights in my own house.
You see sharing a house is nice because you get to share bills, rent arrears and housemate can bail you out when the credit crunch really bites.

However last night was horrible. I was broke and so decided to head straight home after work, eat homemade food, watch telly and sleep. Housemate wasn't in so i did my thing and slept.
Time check 12.00am and dude comes in with his very beautiful girlfriend. Hardly 5 minutes passed and i hear these crazy moaning sounds. I down play it as a man is entitled to some good stuff from galfriend. Dude, 2 more minutes and you'd think housemate is strangling someone. The oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah's were too too loud. Sparkatuss, i think this jamma is a size nine, or he has access to the blue pill. At one moment i thought i'd go knock at his door and advise these guys to clearly outline the rules of the game. I was also worried that the house might come down crumbling on us; or if we were lucky only the roof would fly off. All this time my stereo was on and so was music from housemate's laptop connected to some heavy speakers. So i can hardly determine what exactly these guys were doing. I think the chic also added "fujjo" oba wa "kujjubisaring" both meaning exxaggerating.

Okay 45 minutes later and they are done coz i could hear beautiful lady's giggles. Giggle's that can only be compared to a very satisfied baby. Time for me to get back to ma sleep. Off goes the stereo and put ma head back on the pillow. Before it was on top of ma head. Dude, 5 minutes and the "cat licking milk" sounds are back again. Then the verrrrrrrrrrry loud screams. Nigga, this time i couldn't handle. Just got out of bed, got my cancer sticks and off i went to blow rings of smoke. But seriously, i think my neighbours even heard. So am done with my 3 sticks, and an ofwono fanta and am ready to go back to bed. At this time our tigress is also in need of some refreshment. So we like collide in the corridor. She screamed so hard and run back to her man's room. Dont know what really scared her; was it the ka-tall tiny only in boxers creature she bumped into or she thought that there was a ghost in the house as there were no lights on. But serious how did she expect me to sleep with all the noise she was emitting!
My boy then started playing some Gospel music. I dont know if this was some kind of white flag or he was trying to play along with galfriend who had turned so religious throughout the battle.

Meanwhile, my boy told me this lovely thing had only started eating things in December last year. He had the honours of being the opening batsman, as my cricket friends would say. So who taught her how to sing oba the ringtones are inbuilt in every lady?

Anyway 2 lessons i learnt last night. Omwavu talina choice loosely translated as a brokeman has no choice. If i was not broke, i would have gone for rock night, come home drunk and slept all through this noise.
Secondly, i should invest in a good set of ear phones.

On the offside: I have 2 confirmed grad parties with alot of food and drink. I am going to eat and drink to the brim and return home sorted. Housemate bring it on tonight, i wont feel it.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

So far so good.

This year has really started with a bang. I thought this would be the year when i would discover my other self. I mean the introvert in me. Spend most of my times at work and home. This is the year i chose to launch my plans of having 2 kids by the age 30. First step towards this goal is to accumulate big monies, then the rest shall follow.

2008 ended well for me and this one has also started with too much fun.This wasn't the way i had planned things to go. End of last year i met a very interesting pretty girl.This girl is so off the hook. First problem is the French mama was also meant to be in the country on Jan 3rd 2009. She came in a day earlier. So here i am with two ladies i want to spend most of my free time with. All was well untill i refered to lady from France as a "fcuked up French blonde". We didnt talk for about 3 to 4 days.

Last week, was a Monday to Thursday work week for me. Coupled with the fact that i always got to work late and always left early, you'd say i worked only three days that week. Add the hours i spent chatting and day dreaming and you will realise i didn't work the whole week.
Thursday evening was meant to be our make-up night so off to the Kla Casino for supper. Ofcourse i didnt choose the venue as this year i had (mark the tense) promised to live the life of an auditor (those guys even ask their househelps for invoices). Anyway dinner is fine untll i notice 2 bu-gals looking our way and gigging. after taking a closer look i realised i knew both of them from way back in my hay days.
Madam came with 2 bu-short french men who are too crazy for their 5'6 sizes. Never in Uganda had i ever seen whites with a good taste in women. These chaps told me they wanted Ugandan girls and i thought that would be an easy task for me. I was not ready to hook them with any of my girls as i thought that wasnt their taste(beautiful) and my friends are not for playing around with. I was shocked when after doing the streets, visiting the beach and most pubs that these chaps go like............"i think Uganda doesn't have the most beautiful girls in Africa." Imagine such an insult. These bu-men want girls in Zuena's league. Not that she is the prettiest but i know most of the guys shall concur with me that she is nice. They even want bootay. Actually there taste is so similar to Igis'. For insulting me and my country, am not getting them women. Let em "starve".
My weekend went away just like that without me seeing my beautiful Ugandan friend whom i've grown so fond of. Imagine it has to be this way untill Feb 02nd when they go away.
Monday morning i was too tired to go out of bed. Woke up at 10am and realised its too late to go work. At 1pm i was in Jinja on a bungee jumping mission. Nigga that sh*t is scary. I'll go back this saturday and this time i will not disappoint.
Today i came to office, very tired, and BROKE like a problem. Yes these guys have the Euros but they are guys. It aint cool enjoying another man's hard earned dimes. We always shared the bills. (So all you guys out there who accompany their oba sisters, cousins, galfriends to feast on account of a fellow man get some shame).

Friday i shamelessly attended my cousin's wedding in jeans, an untucked in shirt with folded sleeves and timbaland boots. This is because i have been away from my emails and that's where the wedding invitations were sent. You know these guys who live in outside countries. At around 10pm that night while on ma 5th tequila shot, i received a phone call from my old man wondering why i wasn't for the wedding. Had to rush there and found everyone so well dressed and having a ball. But being family and the fact that i wasn't fluking, all was well. I joined in the fun and partied the night away. Later, we stormed EQUATOR(Former Rhino pub). Trust these chaps called "ba-summer", they knew this bar had been re-opened before me. Nice place with pretty ladies. No full of whites like it was in the past.

Today its Ug vs kenya. Am'a be there cheering our lads on.

Solo King thanx for the tips on effective spending. I just saw it today. Guess i'll start on your tips next month because this month there is nothing left to save. All is gone.

Guess what, my bosses have summoned me to Nairobi this weekend. Dont know if they read my post on jobo being so boring and me sleeping in office every day at 3pm.

Otherwise, hope all you guys are having a great start to the new year.