Thursday, January 22, 2009


Last night was one of my hardest nights in my own house.
You see sharing a house is nice because you get to share bills, rent arrears and housemate can bail you out when the credit crunch really bites.

However last night was horrible. I was broke and so decided to head straight home after work, eat homemade food, watch telly and sleep. Housemate wasn't in so i did my thing and slept.
Time check 12.00am and dude comes in with his very beautiful girlfriend. Hardly 5 minutes passed and i hear these crazy moaning sounds. I down play it as a man is entitled to some good stuff from galfriend. Dude, 2 more minutes and you'd think housemate is strangling someone. The oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah's were too too loud. Sparkatuss, i think this jamma is a size nine, or he has access to the blue pill. At one moment i thought i'd go knock at his door and advise these guys to clearly outline the rules of the game. I was also worried that the house might come down crumbling on us; or if we were lucky only the roof would fly off. All this time my stereo was on and so was music from housemate's laptop connected to some heavy speakers. So i can hardly determine what exactly these guys were doing. I think the chic also added "fujjo" oba wa "kujjubisaring" both meaning exxaggerating.

Okay 45 minutes later and they are done coz i could hear beautiful lady's giggles. Giggle's that can only be compared to a very satisfied baby. Time for me to get back to ma sleep. Off goes the stereo and put ma head back on the pillow. Before it was on top of ma head. Dude, 5 minutes and the "cat licking milk" sounds are back again. Then the verrrrrrrrrrry loud screams. Nigga, this time i couldn't handle. Just got out of bed, got my cancer sticks and off i went to blow rings of smoke. But seriously, i think my neighbours even heard. So am done with my 3 sticks, and an ofwono fanta and am ready to go back to bed. At this time our tigress is also in need of some refreshment. So we like collide in the corridor. She screamed so hard and run back to her man's room. Dont know what really scared her; was it the ka-tall tiny only in boxers creature she bumped into or she thought that there was a ghost in the house as there were no lights on. But serious how did she expect me to sleep with all the noise she was emitting!
My boy then started playing some Gospel music. I dont know if this was some kind of white flag or he was trying to play along with galfriend who had turned so religious throughout the battle.

Meanwhile, my boy told me this lovely thing had only started eating things in December last year. He had the honours of being the opening batsman, as my cricket friends would say. So who taught her how to sing oba the ringtones are inbuilt in every lady?

Anyway 2 lessons i learnt last night. Omwavu talina choice loosely translated as a brokeman has no choice. If i was not broke, i would have gone for rock night, come home drunk and slept all through this noise.
Secondly, i should invest in a good set of ear phones.

On the offside: I have 2 confirmed grad parties with alot of food and drink. I am going to eat and drink to the brim and return home sorted. Housemate bring it on tonight, i wont feel it.


  1. naye gwe gayiii....

    Gospel music? Kyoka abantu?!

  2. dude, for the first time in a long time, rock night at steak out was a blast

  3. In built ringtones! i haven't stopped laughing yet.

    Return home sorted. should i read between the lines? the poor man's daughter will unwittingly enter a pissing contest of who's got the biggest....

    Something tells me your housemate was revenging for all the times u kept him awake.

  4. this was funny. key to the city kind of thing? mayor of virginia?

  5. DUDE! Rock Night rocked!

    Now that we have that out of the way...

    Omwavu talina choice indeed! That was trauma.

  6. Teeheehee......Sorry dude. You could hear them over the sound of your music and their music?? wololo!!!

    Lol at the change to gospel music..too funny!

  7. what rock night was hot? keep me in the know so i can also ko show

  8., u shud jump as the 'third man and show him how the game is muted.

  9. hahahahahahaha...poor poor(not the broke issue)jny. i say, we revenge.i call for revenge and i dont care being an accessory to this crime about to be committed...u with me J.Boy?

  10. Yes a poor man has no choice..

    That is one hell of a rough night, Damn-I know a buddy, who wouldnt take it that way...He would ask that if u are send the gal over.

    and truthfully he is damn serious about it.

    Being an opening batsman must be a damn good place to be...

  11. Some serious stuff I tell you. I certainly like your writing style and humor.

  12. @Nevender, as they say put God first in whatever yu do.

    @emry's & King, man i missed rock nyt in a long time only to be tortured later.

    @Cars; ma' man. I surely got sorted myself this weekend. French tones just.

    @31337; mayor of Thanx for passing by.

    @Val; Ugandan men can be this mean.

    Hi Lulu.

  13. @Boy fulani; dude promised to moderate on the trucks next time. But i wont wait for next time.

    @Silverbow; neyanziza. Ofcourse am with yu and i've always wanted some, i.e to pay him back....hahaha. Yo so generous..sorry kind.

    @Normzo, i prefer being a mid-order batsman, probably number 3 or 4.

    @Mjay, thanx for dropping by and for the compliment.

  14. "cat licking milk"?!
    Sweety you got nothing to worry about by the sounds of it!
    He is clearly a slurpy kisser who desperately needed to be re-assured, hence the gal's notable soundtrack

  15. Apr9....

    Togwa........laughed thru'out.

    At least u learnt some vital lessons....oba u ll pay back?

  16. Nice and hilarious post, sounds like you had fun.

  17. I agree revenge...sliverbow is willing to be your partener in crime..though dont forget to keep us posted...

  18. At last I get you..

    I knew you was a funny one. lol, you only eat home made food when broke?

    S.B has offered herself as a sacrificial lamb. hope you have the knife well sharpened

  19. Omg i laughed my head off at this!
    especialy the part where she met you and ran away screaming! i can imagine the face you had on...

    hmmm one of these days i'll come for rock night at steak out right? put faces to these blognames...

  20. whoa hillarious....opening batsman, opener in short....well i will also have to open soon it seems...will hav to get batslady for tat matter!!!but good read yaar, u got talent writing funny stuff....may b u shud invite me also to some of ur rock nites hehehe!!!