PG18

Last night was one of my hardest nights in my own house.
You see sharing a house is nice because you get to share bills, rent arrears and housemate can bail you out when the credit crunch really bites.

However last night was horrible. I was broke and so decided to head straight home after work, eat homemade food, watch telly and sleep. Housemate wasn't in so i did my thing and slept.
Time check 12.00am and dude comes in with his very beautiful girlfriend. Hardly 5 minutes passed and i hear these crazy moaning sounds. I down play it as a man is entitled to some good stuff from galfriend. Dude, 2 more minutes and you'd think housemate is strangling someone. The oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah's were too too loud. Sparkatuss, i think this jamma is a size nine, or he has access to the blue pill. At one moment i thought i'd go knock at his door and advise these guys to clearly outline the rules of the game. I was also worried that the house might come down crumbling on us; or if we were lucky only the roof would fly off. All this time my stereo was on and so was music from housemate's laptop connected to some heavy speakers. So i can hardly determine what exactly these guys were doing. I think the chic also added "fujjo" oba wa "kujjubisaring" both meaning exxaggerating.

Okay 45 minutes later and they are done coz i could hear beautiful lady's giggles. Giggle's that can only be compared to a very satisfied baby. Time for me to get back to ma sleep. Off goes the stereo and put ma head back on the pillow. Before it was on top of ma head. Dude, 5 minutes and the "cat licking milk" sounds are back again. Then the verrrrrrrrrrry loud screams. Nigga, this time i couldn't handle. Just got out of bed, got my cancer sticks and off i went to blow rings of smoke. But seriously, i think my neighbours even heard. So am done with my 3 sticks, and an ofwono fanta and am ready to go back to bed. At this time our tigress is also in need of some refreshment. So we like collide in the corridor. She screamed so hard and run back to her man's room. Dont know what really scared her; was it the ka-tall tiny only in boxers creature she bumped into or she thought that there was a ghost in the house as there were no lights on. But serious how did she expect me to sleep with all the noise she was emitting!
My boy then started playing some Gospel music. I dont know if this was some kind of white flag or he was trying to play along with galfriend who had turned so religious throughout the battle.

Meanwhile, my boy told me this lovely thing had only started eating things in December last year. He had the honours of being the opening batsman, as my cricket friends would say. So who taught her how to sing oba the ringtones are inbuilt in every lady?

Anyway 2 lessons i learnt last night. Omwavu talina choice loosely translated as a brokeman has no choice. If i was not broke, i would have gone for rock night, come home drunk and slept all through this noise.
Secondly, i should invest in a good set of ear phones.

On the offside: I have 2 confirmed grad parties with alot of food and drink. I am going to eat and drink to the brim and return home sorted. Housemate bring it on tonight, i wont feel it.